Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The Olympian is in my bed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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