If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
