Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
