Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
