What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
