I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
