I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
