Sry I called you an 8
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
