I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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