I looked at my own cervix.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
