i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
