you guys were way drunker than both of me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sorry about my life...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
