Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
