I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
