I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
