i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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