none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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