Me too!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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