you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
