You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
