grandma shit on top of the toilet
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
