At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Semen is not good for contacts.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
