I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
