We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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