fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She even gives head with a lisp.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
