i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
