this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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