she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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