some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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