Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
