guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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