She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
