we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
