Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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