So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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