you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
