so explain again why im purple
no
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
