Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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