I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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