Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I got her a Nickelback box set.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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