P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
not ubering you a puppy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
