Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
