I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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