I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i believe in u and ur pee
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
