took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
