oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
how drunk are you?
Several
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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