Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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