Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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