Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
