jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
