Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
