you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
